The year is 1903 and the Lady Jane Grey College for Little Ladies is closed for the summer session, the windows empty, gargoyles and latin script cut into the arched doorways, the buildings now abandoned but for a few who have no other home, a handful of teachers, administrators, and orphans.

Here amidst the rippling green of cyprus and fir upon a tenuous breeze, the ground covered in litter from the trees above, a tragicomedy is underfoot in which our key players, Archibald the Professor of Arcane Knowledge, Headmistress Ursula, Jack the Handyman, Boo Boo, Simone, Gundrun the Grammar Instructor, and a wealth of demons and demigods are pitted one against the other to see which one will last through the night. The story unfolds over the course of 52 three to five minute installments released over the course of the previous year. It involves bushes that release psychedelic fumes, secret passageways, an embarrassing account of adolescent cannibalism, the hordes of hell streaming out a hole in the fabric of space, an unhealthy relationship with a monkey, young scholars battling creatures from the deep on a barren rock, and a narrator currently being eaten alive by grinning faeries. There are those who claim that it is one of those dastardly timelines leaves a person quivering in their seat, and struggling to keep up, while perspiration collects upon the upper lip.

Recorded entirely at Shady Pines in Eugene, OR and written by Gabriel Boyer, this radioplay was inspired by HP Lovecraft and Seinfeld. It is a show in which nothing happens, yet that nothing is such an ominous nothing, such a bone-chilling nothing, that you will shiver while you twitter, and gag on your own giggles.